fertile doubts

by BOY FRIENDS

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1.
wandernaut 02:42
the car is all the car is all i’m saying the car is all the car is all i’m saying the car turns you into my child the car turns me into your father high towers tiny towers on the farm tiny towers high towers on the farm shady white windmills wither the eye the car turns the clouds into a lampshade conversation i had a dream at six conversation i had a dream at six a room full of imaginary women mom made me promise not to dream about it security feature food coloring security feature color on the brain a child is the ghostliest stranger of all i became a ghost on purpose i’m a liar i’m a liar i have lied i am the car i am the car is all i’m saying not even like i am the car is all i’m saying i feel every bird i feel every word if that’s all i can do right now it’ll be all i’ll do if that’s all i can do right now it’ll be all i’ll do if that’s all i can do right now it’ll be all i’ll do if that’s all i can do right now it’ll be all i’ll do if that’s all i can do right now it’ll be all i’ll do if that’s all i can do right now it’ll be all i’ll do if that’s all i can do right now it’ll be all i’ll do if that’s all i can do right now it’ll be all i’ll do
2.
sleep in a bone tree winter my bones are blinking scaffolds stood very close to a big screen lights in the eyes of pavements bored straight thru by thunder drifting in from uncanny far red-ribbed in the eyes i’m astonished out i perversify i keep all i find both pretend to try and i’m really trying but i’m really trying but i’m really trying stars throw gold over a spherical bridge test the strength of the invisible springs raise the lampshade high something in me died both pretend to try and i’m really trying but i’m really trying but i’m really trying combine piles dark upon dark one color the self seen in lacquer
3.
dawn boy 02:35
i had a problem but it worked itself out now my mind is empty like a mouth where are all the people? where did my power go? reflections dance across the screen i had a dream i laid awake all night and nothing happened when i flipped the light my friends were numerous as shadows from the ceiling fan starlight spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin i felt them watch me as i left i cracked a window with my breath not a word was said to me laughter from behind the door i pass the belfry on my left the wind is high for miles around
4.
icing 02:53
several years of this limb’s weakness of the woken shaped a mouth of icing tubing on the table watered several flowers waited several hours youngish on a night cruise sight worn down to see thru i have spent some hours meeting my position gift for replication gift for reproduction several are the gifts to friends of enemies of ours papers on the lion but he’s not seen in the wild never time for Julian to make his frightful noise my claws will fade into my skin
5.
bell town 03:34
i am for whom the handrail strikes its note kicking lollipops into the street watching sunlight climb the bedroom i’m the projection of a famous sound cumulative wisdom has drowned out with the proper way to speak my name well wishers crowd the door that leads outside dagger games in limbo on the roof vacant windows fading into sight i do not pretend that there is nothing left to do and if i were you i would be tired of me too every time i tell myself i’m thru with being dumb i can’t open my grapefruit cause i chewed up my thumb i paint the cloud’s eye he’s not your friend he’s mine i spin the wheel was he the cloud who bade the age go by? i commit the sin of envy just by waking up laughing at old photographs is just like growing up just like growing up i do not have a body or a mind i am knots that perish in the sun let me in the shade of your white van
6.
the fall of truth upon days the cock transposes his faith my dogs are lost by this moon the fall of truth upon days the fall of truth upon days the call of fruit to the plate the basket worn as a cap family will leave you to its mysteries for all the proof i’ve kept faith wandered the block seeking sleep the fall of truth upon days the wind in the window brace found the proof to spite my faith the crabapples in the street the fall of truth upon days floor salad broken leaves cigarettes rap a tear-stained knuckle on a rusty iron tabletop blue as autumn’s distant wish a clue to autumn’s distant wish stars let the airplanes wear their costumes on purpose stars use the mountain the worthless show’s left its trace the fall of truth upon days necrotic wits painted red red ghost of an apple painted over window clanks fall wind bright wind orange wind newly serene dog’s face blinks sure i’ve met him the leaves of rich uncertainty have found their way to tumble in the leaves of rich uncertainty have found their way to tumble in tumble in the fall of truth upon days
7.
it bothers me so that my guitar is not my weapon or my reason now that master’s fed to his machine let me run my tongue along the edge it can’t be sure not here there’s papers on the lion but he’s not seen in the wild rustling thru my blue and yellow page whispers on the lake wind leaves trees “please” if i learn your song which door will close? all i’ve done for love used against you? throw my voice into your words i’ve traced brandishing the sound of flights of birds crabapple tree ghost in the street don’t you see me? don’t you?
8.
up your gravel path at my back i could turn either way to see you faith a wave a new urgency with all the etiquette of a chair at a party rise o moon in your beard of fog couch cushion crystal light turned away from you in your sleep tho it seems to radiate everywhere pulse and flash recede with a turn big midnight parking lot the sky moon glare flutes like blue bottle glass tho it seems to radiate everywhere the car is all the car is all i’m saying the car is all the car is all i’m saying the car is all the car is all i’m saying i confess to having imposed chatter like stars to one another i confess
9.
finger to lips in prayer asleep on the castle path i’m splayed out in faith to effort so much to ask but only wind in the face of statues saws singing at the scaffolds jars winking from the windows half full of last week’s rain the ambulance paints the far wall this celebration will continue long after i have gone i’ve brought nothing with me power is concealment of the object makes me hate the products of honest hours the defiant nature of this illness fated intervention to recover the room the hall the wind the stars the door the pall entails departs the car alarms of spring and fall the route the wheel was lifted up and then down it skidded and skidded to a stop sat under a heaving body black as well-worn rubber two dreaming eyes saw shadows cross a pool of light i shall oversleep drown on rainfall in the rutted road
10.
the dualist in stasis the spinning of the disc incessant temptation on the staircase the image will not hold intelligence of interest the rational approach to crisis a liminal insistence a shout into the hall to listen lately this certainty’s suffused my gait would that my stride could compensate for all the things i’ve found between these doors i fear i’m far too comfortable i thought it would be quite fit my wire frame in robes of sunlight but buttoning up my jacket my eyes were drowned in windows’ shadows there’s goodness in this tension the moth the candle the penumbra it’s such a perfect staircase but this electric light let me under the shade of your white van i fear i’m far too comfortable

about

video for "i drank": youtu.be/hTZMZ6mRfHk

credits

released September 11, 2020

casimir frederic coquette - guitar, vocals
andrew miller - bass
evan magoni - drums

recorded summer 2018

music by cq and boy friends
words by cq
recorded and mixed by Arsenii Foudimov
mastered by magoni

art by higu rose
higu.cool

thank you to elie gill, alec morgan & evan copp; lara oundjian; veronica winslow; ian mcphail; gestalt & family; higu rose; the andys & manhattan pizza; hunt middle; the shatil family; lit club at the light club; arsenii & the BOG family; kt taka; wes k; everyone for sticking with us

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BOY FRIENDS Montreal, Québec

formerly THE THIS MANY BOYFRIENDS CLUB

you can find our old music at thismanyboyfriendsclub.bandcamp.com

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